My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
