I need to stop coming to work sober
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
