I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
