maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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