people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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