he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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