when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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