True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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