i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
