i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
