someone get that fucking seahorse.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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