sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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