Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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