she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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