Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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