I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
