these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
