More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
