There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
