Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize