It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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