I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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