I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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