I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
