so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
