they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
