So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
