I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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