Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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