matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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