i barfeds in our rink
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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