Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
