The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
