his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize