Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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