Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
