we have officially lost it.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
