Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
