Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Found your dick twin last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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