I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
