She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
