ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
