eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
