thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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