Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
