i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just found a bag of teeth...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
