What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
