Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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