Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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