yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
