all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You don't make any sense
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