he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
