i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
