he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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