Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
