That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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