i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
