every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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