Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
