your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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