You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
