it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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